Because I'm Your Comrade
by Confizzledworld
Summary: Russia wakes up from a dream of a cherished memory the morning of a world summit. Yet, that fond moment is tarnished by a nightmareish past. The ice needs to thaw, to show the scars of history. The ice needs to thaw, to finally feel warmth.


[Conny] I'm baaaaaaack~! Well, I've always been here...just been too lazy to do much. Not to mention busy. Oh gosh, have I been busy. Anyway... I should tell you a little bit about this story. I wrote this a long time ago. Far too long ago. Back then, I didn't know there was a character in Hetalia called the Golden Horde. In my understanding of history, I believed that Mongolia (the Mongols) had conquered a vast amount of land, which included Russia. Who was called the Golden Horde (at least, that's what the book said!). So I developed this story.

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it? I don't own the characters. Nor Hetalia.

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><p>"<em>Sister, I'm cold." I'm wearing a jacket, but my sisters wear cloaks over their dresses. I shouldn't complain. They're cold, too.<em>

"_Here," she said, as she took her scarf off. Wrapping it around my neck, I felt her warmth embrace my chilled being._

"_Sister, may we please stop?" My little sister was shivering. I wish there was a place we could stay. It's so cold. We've been walking through the snow for so long._

"_Come here, Bel." Out big sister wrapped her arms around Belarus. I did the same for them both. "Sister will take care of you two. Don't worry." But we're alone. We're in the woods. It's so cold. We don't have a home._

"_Sister, I want to go home." My poor little sister. She's too young to be told she's homeless. We have tried not to tell her, but we shouldn't keep secrets. Especially to our dearest little sister._

"_Don't worry, Bel." Ukraine, you have to tell her. I can't. I don't want to make her cry. "We'll be home soon." I shock my head. "Belarus, do you want to keep going?" Bel nodded. A blizzard was blowing in, but we kept going. Ukraine and Belarus are my only family left. They are the only ones I can trust now._

I woke up. Ukraine and Belarus are older now. I am older, but I'm not. That was a moment I hold hear to me. It was before Mongolia took over. It was before my little sister when insane. Before I went crazy. Ukraine wasn't hurt as badly, and she had a better way of cooping with pain. Belarus and I because abusive. I hurt my "friends" and Belarus hurts me. I physically beat then, she scares me senseless. Ukraine tried to help us. We only hurt her.

"Russia, are you cold?" Sister, why are you here? "Why don't you ever take off that scarf?" She tried to take it away from me, I gripped it tightly. I will never let go of this gray cloth, no matter what.

"I-I can't, sister." I roll on to my side, I shouldn't stay in bed, but I can't help it.

"Russia." She sat down next to me, a hand was gently placed over mine. "Mongolia won't hurt you anymore. He's different now." She understands why I keep the scarf on. "Russia, you're safe. You don't need this scarf to protect you anymore." I can't!

"Ukraine, I have to have it on!" She doesn't understand. I thought wrong. She took it away from me…

"Russia…why didn't you tell us?" She now knows of my scars. My scars of the Russian occupation. This was…caused by Mongolia, when he was…evil.

"Ukraine, please leave." I can't tell her what happened. It happened soon after my cherished memory. "Please, sister." She left my room. She left my house. I took my scarf and cover my flaws, then got out of bed. I remember why sister was here. It's the world summit today.

"Mr. Russia," Lithuania said, as he came to greet me. "Sir, your sister ran out crying. What happened?" His green eyes show anxious curiosity. He's keeping a distance, in case I happen to have my faucet pipe.

"Lithuania, I need my usual." Sometime during this, I had put my elbow on my knee, then put my face in that hand. My other arm was extended out to my…friend. He's more of a servant, with how I've been treating him.

"Mr. Russia, today's the world-"

"I know!" I don't need this. I don't need this at all. "I know, Lithuania. I'm sorry." He has already given me a bottle of vodka.

"Russia." I'm not going to get drunk, comrade. "Later, don't get drunk and go after Estonia or Latvia." That's your way of saying its fine for me to hurt you.

"Lithuania, I'll be ready for the world summit. Just get the car ready," I said in a shaky voice. I've cause my comrade far too many scars. His friend, Poland, will never let me forget it.

"Russia, I know about your scars. I understand." What that, Lithuania left me. The only people who know-should know, about my scars are my sisters and Mongolia. How did he figure out?

Before I stepped into the building, I took one last swig from my flask. Lithuania was by my side, making sure I wouldn't run. We both knew I could easily overpower this little Baltic country, but we've come to a mutual agreement. The faster we get in, the faster we get out.

"Come on, Mr. Russia," he said, while taking my hand. "Let's hear yet another fight between England, France, and America, then go back to our homes." Three annoying countries blathering about the past, then go home. Sounds lovely.

When I walked in, I was met by a familiar face.

"Hello, my golden horde." Where's my sisters? Where's Lithuania? "How are you?" Where should I sit? It must be far away from him.

"I'm well, Mongolia." Why must the only seats be next to him?

"That's good, Russia." The fight between the two Europeans commenced, just as it was during the Hundred Years war. "I'm glad you still talk to me, Russia." Its not like I want to. "China won't speak to me. I've tried to apologize, but he won't hear it." I can tell in his mud-colored eyes that he's telling the truth.. "Almost no one talks to me, not anymore. Is It because of the past?" He looks at me, I can see the scars on his face. Old battle wounds. I'm not the only one who's hurt.

"Mongolia, what do you think?" I give him a minute, there was no answer. We sit in silence, as America forces hamburgers down England's throat. England gets revenge by shoving a scone into America's mouth. A small woman with sun-kissed skin appears on the scene. It's Philippines, playing nurse and preventing the fall of two idiotic chefs.

"Russia, do you still…?" Still what? "I'm sorry."

"Sorry. Huh?" He looks as though he's going to cry. I stand, force him up, then we walk out of the conference room. "This is **NOT** the nation that scares me! You were brutal, abusive, but you're much like Italy, my comrade!" The fighting within the room has stopped, but I continue. "You took everything from me! My pride, my dignity! My life! You've scarred this body and mind! And yet, _nichego! _**Nothing!** You take no responsibility! You've changed me, my sisters, China! Other have simply vanished, thanks to what you did!" My alcohol induced anger subsides. I am out of my fuel.

Lithuania opens the door, Ukraine and Belarus are behind him. The look I see in their eyes nearly kill me.

"Mongolia," the voice of Japan rings in the calm. "It is best, if you come back inside." Of course Japan would say that! He was able to fend off Mongolia! The coward goes into the conference room, not even the loud-mouthed America said anything. "Russia, I understand we all have had our conflicts in the past." There's a slight glare towards America, but his calm face returns almost instantly. "May you please return home and rest?" Somehow, the once isolated Asia got through to me. His calm brought a calm of my own.

"Allow me to take him home," Lithuania says to everyone, but mostly to my sisters. He hooks our arms and leads me home. We were silent. Not a word spoken. But once inside my home, Lithuania breathed a sigh.

"Lith-" He interrupted.

"Russia. I have been your friends for a long time. I took it upon myself to study a little of your history." His field green eyes are glazed over with an emotion I do not know. "You and I are more similar than anyone could believe." He slowly unbuttons his dress shirt, exposing the broad expanse that is his chest. I soon realize something. There are scars. As he allows the shirt to fall, I am shown all the wounds across his torso.

"Not all of these are from you, but…" His scars of Medieval Europe. Of World Wars. Of the Soviet Union. "Russia, we're both scarred. You seemed to have your trauma under control."

"You seem to have yours under control, also, comrade." A nervous, yet dark laugh leaves his lips. He puts his shirt back on, covering the past.

"If you believe sobbing throughout the night is _control_, then you and I have very different definitions of the word." Sobbing through the night?

"What do you mean, Lithuania?" We sat in my loft. He explained the uncontrollable crying, the flashbacks, the sleepless nights. That was much like the first few years after freedom. It felt like I was still controlled by invisible strings in the dark of night. I was a marionette, a puppet for Mongolia. Lithuania must have felt like that under the Soviet Union and of other times in his history.

"Russia," he called to watch my attention. A gentle hand wiped away tears I did not realize fell. I carefully took his hand in mine. It's small, but warm. I made him cup my cheek again, hoping it would help thaw the winter within. "Do you want more vodka?" I shake my head, trying to get his warmth in my. My body reacts before my mind registers a thing. I'm hugging him close to me. "Rus-!"

"Lithuania, you're so warm…" He's shivering, but I'm comfortable.

"Russia, please…" I loosen the hug, but I will never break this embrace. I haven't felt this warm in such a long time. His shaking eventually ceases, his arms lightly wrap around my torso. Him standing and me sitting makes this awkward. I slowly fall back, he goes down with me. Lithuania breaks his side of the hug, to try and put some space between us. I force him closer, its like I need him.

"I'm sorry, Lithuania," I tell him, hoping he won't have the same reaction as I had with Mongolia.

"I've already forgiven you, Russia." I did not expect to hear him say that. At all. I didn't expect him to hug back again either.

"…why?" Why? How can he so easily say that? I could keep asking and asking, but his one answer halted my interrogation.

"Because I'm your comrade, aren't I?"

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><p>[Conny] So... I know there's yaoi-ish themes here. I didn't intend to do that in the beginning, but it just happened as I wrote... so I apologize if you don't like it. Well, it was more of the fluffy, sweet stuff. Nothing mature...unless you think drinking vodka is something that's mature rated. Anyways, thank you for reading. I would be even more thankful if you reviewed!<p> 


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